a tale from the mommy trenches

Some days it just must be said...motherhood is embarrassing.

All we wanted was a fun, relaxing trip to Borders. What the hell were we thinking?!! Will we never, ever, ever learn?!!
So we head in with all three kids in tow. Generally, we start in the bargain section, and this was no exception. Could two little boys be patient and give the concept of behaving a fighting shot for just a few minutes? Apparently not. Within 5 minutes, they had blown their chance at heading to the kids section. All three of them (poor Annie just got caught up in the sting) were herded off to the bench by the door to sit. I told Rich to just go take some time to browse, while I played prison warden.
Things go from bad to worse. Gray decides to take off his shoes. I calmly ask him to put them back on. He refuses. I sternly tell him to put them back on. He refuses. I say some assinine motherly statement such as "You'd better put those shoes back on right now, or you won't be needing them when we get home because you'll be going right to bed." He finally starts reshodding, when I notice that little brother, in true little brother fashion, has also removed his shoes. See, Max MUST (I believe it's in his genetic make-up) do absolutely everything his big brother does, with the, much to our dismay, exception of using the potty.
"Maxwell, put your shoes on now, please." He actually starts to comply. Then for some reason that I simply cannot explain except to say that it must have been an incident of gravity gone crazy, Max tips over and takes a header to the floor, hitting a metal pole on the way. The Mommy reflex kicks in and he is in my arms before the first wails escape his mouth. But the wails do come, averaging about 200 decibels for approximately a 60 second duration. (Said 60 second duration, of course, felt more like 6 days.) No blood is sighted, and wails subside into simple sniffles.
Trying to take everyone's minds off the preceding troubles, I say to Annie, "Why don't you just open up that book and read us a question?". The book to which I was referring is called The Handy Answer Book for Kids (and Parents). I found it in the bargain section before our exile to the bench. It's full of all kinds of interesting questions and answers on nearly every subject conceivable. Being the obedient child that she is, Annie opens the book and loudly reads, "Why don't girls have penises?" Of all the hundreds upon hundreds of questions in this book, this is the one she opens to. And I have no one but myself to blame.
*Side note: Gray and I just covered this subject a few weeks ago...see April 10th post.

just some random stuff

Random thing #1-
Finished this gift for my mother-in-law. A Mother's Day gift. Absolutely love this picture of her and Annie! Hope she likes it. Not sure what else to get her...she's hard to buy for.


Random thing #2-
Found this one on Marianne's blog, where I always find all kinds of fun stuff.

1. What's missing from your life?
**me-time

2. Do you like to get drunk?
**definitely not...used to, but not longer

3. Have you ever kissed a stranger?
**not sure what's meant by stranger...so I'll just say no

4. Do you smoke?
**no...thankfully I quit (will be 13 years in August)

5. What makes you happy?
**my kids (though they drive me crazy, too), completing a scrapbook layout, figuring out a tough puzzle, reading a good book, yummy food, our cats and mice and fish and frogs (though the cats can also drive me crazy at times), spending time with my parents, finding or making the perfect gift for someone, and lots and lots of other things

Random thing #3-
Came across a new word in my reading. Love finding new words!

Blatherskite: a babbling, foolish person

Cool word. Love it.


Random thing #4-
Quote of the day:
"Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul." --Samuel Ullman

Fun Fact Friday

Found this at 2peas.
Here's a random challenge for you. From burberrygirl.

Fun Fact Friday

List some fun facts of yourself. Maybe something weird, something people won't think of you, something that your online friends don't know, etc.

Hmmm...let's see...

1. I can stick my whole fist in my mouth. (Something I'm sure noone wanted to know!)
2. Pregnancy and I are a bad mix. (Though the results are worth it!)
3. I'm afraid of pressure cookers.
4. As a kid, I broke my foot playing TV tag.
5. I always wished I could have been a backup singer in a Motown band. (Too bad I can't sing!)

O.K.-that's surely enough info to let everyone know what a true dork I am.

pass the earplugs, please!

O.K., I'm supposed to be on my way to the basement to get the current load of laundry right now. But I decided that I first must record this (it may become a scrapbook page someday).

In the last 5 minutes, this is what my boys have had to say to me...
1. Max: "Mom, Gray's taking my papers."
2. Gray: "Mom, Max called me Stupid."
3. Gray: "Mom, Max called me nothing."
4. Max: "Mom, Gray won't let me use the scissors."
5. Gray: "Mom, Max didn't put the cap back on his marker."
6. Gray: "Mom, Max is too close to me."
7. Gray: "Mom, Max is being mean to me."
8. Max: "Mom, Gray's on top of me."

Hard to believe they're also the best of friends, isn't it?

Where does it all come from?!!

Many moons ago (I'm not going to count how many actual moons this was, but I'll put in an estimate of 13 in regular old years), Rich and I lived in a small apartment above a garage. Hmmm...this was the second time we'd lived in an apartment over a garage, but that has absolutely nothing to do with the current subject.
So, anyway, this garage was located behind the house (not attached). The house was rented to a family of four. The landlords used the garage for their woodworking craft business, so it could be somewhat loud in our apartment at times. But they were polite about when they worked, so we were never too put out by it. However, also in the garage was a washer and dryer belonging to the people who rented the house. It's not the noise that bothered us, but the fact that whenever this woman did laundry it took all our hot water. And she did soooooo much laundry. We could never, ever count on getting a warm shower. At the time, I swore she had to be taking in laundry from other people, because I simply could not believe that one family could generate that much laundry! She literally did 3 or 4 loads each and every day. Frankly, I still think that's more than they should have been dirtying. But I now believe that it may have been possible.
Laundry is a never-ending chore! I simply cannot fathom how our family of five can produce so many dirty clothes, towels, sheets, and other assorted odds 'n' ends. An average week involves about 12 loads. A good one, maybe 10...a bad one, maybe 16.
I was reading an article on simplifying your life. One of the tips was to have a "laundry day". Yeah, right! I could not possibly do all the laundry in a single day each week. A totally ludicrous idea for this particular family.
O.K.--time to sign off (I just heard the dryer shut off).

Meme-ing away

10 on Tuesday

10 Things You'd Take With You on a Desert Island...

1. as many photos and scrapbook supplies as allowed
2. The Stand by Stephen King
3. the boxed set of Harry Potter books
4. a really thick notebook and pen
5. toothbrush/toothpaste
6. a big word puzzles book
7. my pillow
8. a big bag of peanut M&Ms
9. a big, thick book about world history (written at a non-historian's level)
10. Hershey (my stuffed bear)

If I gave this more thought, the list might be different. But this is what I came up with off the top of my head.


And appropriated from Marianne's, this week's Manic Monday:

This week's theme is 5 THINGS...

Name 5 Things that:

1. Make you smile:
a. my kids (when they're not making me cry)
b. Rich
c. free time to scrapbook
d. our mice
e. good mail

2. You can see on your desk right now:
(this is pathetically boring, as our "computer desk" is really just a sofa table so there is no room for anything but the computer equipment on it)
a. computer monitor
b. keyboard
c. printer
d. modem
e. scanner

3. Kept you busy this weekend:
a. scrapbooking (for the first time in what seems like forever)
b. working in the basement
c. getting everyone ready to head back to school after a week off
d. laundry (always laundry)
e. e-mailing and blogging

4. You'll be doing this coming week:
a. laundry (of course)
b. starting work on an album of heritage photos from my father-in-law's family (so honored that he asked me to scrap these...and really nervous because I want to do them justice...many of the photos date from the early 1900s...and yes, I'm making copies to actually scrap with)
c. hopefully, making some progress in the basement
d. worrying about Gray's dentist appointment next week
e. hopefully, walking at least 28 miles

5. You've said to make someone else smile:
a. telling Annie she could invite her friend over for supper and play last night...without her even asking first
b. telling Max he could have a snack (a sure-fire way to get him to smile!)
c. telling Annie she did a wonderful job making her bed this morning
d. telling Rich I was making him spaghetti for supper
e. telling Taco he was a shit, but I loved him anyway (trust me, he smiled inside...he loves knowing he's trouble!)


Quote of the day:
"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." --Marcel Proust

yep, that's pretty close to me...

Came across this at Marianne's. She always has the coolest stuff to share!

You Are Sunrise

You enjoy living a slow, fulfilling life. You enjoy living every moment, no matter how ordinary. You are a person of reflection and meditation. You start and end every day by looking inward. Caring and giving, you enjoy making people happy. You're often cooking for friends or buying them gifts. All in all, you know how to love life for what it is - not for how it should be.

What Time Of Day Are You?

tag-along...

Found this at Marianne's, who found it at Dawn's.

5 things:

in my fridge

1. lots of skim milk
2. cheese sticks and juice boxes
3. 5 water bottles
4. jalapeno slices and salsa
5. baby carrots, strawberries, and cherry tomatoes

in my closet

1. 2 file folders totes holding the elder two kids current school work
2. a small box of kids' computer games
3. many, many more clothes belonging to my husband than belonging to me
4. 3 photo boxes full of negatives
5. this horribly hideous "disco" dress that I can't seem to throw out for some unknown reason

in my purse

1. diapers and wipes
2. a half-eaten clove candy stick
3. the kids' immunization records
4. a ducky coin purse (with no coins)
5. sales flyers for Michaels and JoAnns (both out-of-date)

in my car

1. candy wrappers (my kids are slobs!)
2. my daughter's bike and bike helmut
3. a pile of CDs
4. a book about insects
5. an ice scraper

on my TiVo

1.I'm embarrassed to say, I don't really even understand what TiVo is

I tag:

1. anyone who feels like playing along

Please leave a comment so we can check your blog out!

another trip to the dentist

Today was the day of reckoning for Rich, Annie, and I. And I'm thankful to say that we all fared much better than poor little Gray. Clean bills of health for us. And I think I forgot to mention that Max had his very first check-up yesterday. Was so proud of the little guy...he was very brave and very well-behaved! I had been quite worried about it. After all, he has a major meltdown just getting weighed at the doctor's office!
I was happy that they gave Annie a "talking to" about how poorly she brushes her teeth! Though she's had no cavities or anything to date, they could tell she doesn't do a great job with her brushing. I can't count how many times Rich and I have talked to her about it. We'll catch her standing there lost in la-la land with her toothbrush just hanging out of her mouth. Drives us crazy! But of course, we're just parents and we don't know anything. I'm guessing that the dentist is probably up there with teachers and grandparents though...you know, all-knowing and wise. So maybe now she'll finally give her toothbrush a workout.

Quote of the day:
"In the end, it's not what you do for your children but what you've taught them to do for them to do for themselves." --Ann Landers

my poor baby

Gray, the "medium" kid, most definitely takes after his mommy. My husband often says it's downright scary how much alike we are. And though there may be one or two positive things he inherited, I'm afraid for the most part I've simply handicapped the poor little guy by passing along the wrong genes.
We're both emotional (though he more than me at this point). We're both creative. We're both perfectionistic and anal retentive. And, it now appears, we both have bad teeth.
Gray had his dental check-up today...and the news was BAD! Not one cavity, not two cavities, but three cavities! And two of them are enormous. So big, in fact, that the dentist wants him to go to a pediatric dentist to have them taken care of. The poor little fellow. Just doesn't seem fair. You should see him brush his teeth...he's just as meticulous as can be!
Our dentist referred us to a pediatric dentist with the highest of recommendations. Said she's incredible with kids. They gave us a pamphlet from her office. Her philosophy sounds wonderful. Gray's appointment is set for about 2 weeks from now. I sure hope all goes well. I'd hate for him to end up with my overwhelming fear of dental appointments...right now he still loves to go.
My check-up is tomorrow. Sure hope I fare better.

Quote of the day:
"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear." --Mark Twain

when it rains...

Oh okay, I admit it--that's a bit melodramatic. But we are having a rough morning around here.

My poor little Annie. She woke up this morning with snot crusted all over her face. Definitely NOT a pretty picture! I mean it--it was everywhere...her cheeks, her eyebrows, her chin. Frankly, quite disgusting. Most people, I'm sure, could never have slept through this. But most people couldn't sleep through a nuclear holocaust either, though I'm fairly certain that Annie could. Anyway, I managed to get the poor girl all cleaned up. She's obviously not feeling her best, but wouldn't you know it's field trip day. Definitely not the day she wants to stay home stuck in bed. So we've stuffed her little purse full of tissues...but, in true Annie fashion, she forget to take her purse with her.

Max is still not dressed. He's protesting my choice of outfits. It's generally not worth the battle, but the shirt he wants is in the laundry...and I've drawn the line at digging clothes out of the hamper for him to wear. So, yes, he did wear his pjs out to the bus stop.

As I opened the door to come back in and renew our battle, Taco went running out. Hardly surprising...he does it whenever possible. However, today, instead of running over for a quick chomp on the grass before allowing me to grab him and carry his fat butt back in, he chose to run away from me. Eventually, I managed to get him. But upon opening the door, Max cries out, "Ewwww. Look what Taco did!" Yes, awaiting me inside is large pile of cat barf. Gee, thanks Taco. I'm sure there will be more to follow, considering the grass he managed to eat during his brief stint of freedom.

I suppose this really isn't all that unusual a start to a day around here. However, I'm working a slight disadvantage this morning. Last evening, in true "Grace" fashion (my own mother bestowed that nickname upon me, so you imagine how klutzy I must be), I trashed my ankle. Doing my responsible-citizen routine of taking the day's junk mail out to the recycle pile in the garage, I somehow came off the step and landed on the toe of my husband's big clunky boot. My ankle twisted and I went down hard on the cement, glasses flying off my head and skidding about 8 feet across the floor. My glasses were unscathed, but the same could not be said for me. I now have two knees in lovely shades of black and an extremely sore and swollen ankle. The ankle is obviously not broken, but I'm hobbling none-the-less.

And to add insult to injury...I reinflamed my tendon problem in my hand. All I was doing was grabbing laundry from the hamper and throwing it into the clothes basket. I let out a pathetic yelp as the pain went searing up my finger through my palm. And now I cannot close my hand again, can't pick up or grip anything with my right hand. Back to writing left-handed, I guess. Not the end of the world, I know...but I thought that particular painful annoyance was behind me.

On a brighter note, it is supposed to be a gorgeous day here. So I think I will just head to the backyard with Max, where he can play in the sandbox and I can read a book between road and tunnel building. What could possibly go wrong out there? And noone had better say, "Bee-stings, bird droppings, or sand in the underwear."

Quote of the day:
"Life's not fair." --Scar

you may be tested on this material

Kids...they sure do know how to keep you laughing, don't they? And they don't even mean to. A short conversation with Gray yesterday, when he simply had to come in the bathroom with me...

Gray: Why don't girls have penises?

Me: That's just one of the differences between girls and boys.

Gray: Think that'll be on a quiz someday?

(I'm fairly confident, this subject is not included in the kindergarten curriculum...so he should be o.k.)

procrastination central

What exactly am I thinking? I have so much to do, and yet here I am finding any possible excuse to put off the inevitable. Found this fun little thing at Dawn's extremely entertaining blog. Am shamelessly lifting it.

A - Accent: can't personally hear one, but people sometimes ask if I'm from the south so I may have picked up a little something from 11 years in TN
B - Breakfast: usually no time (because, as you can see, I have more important things to do like blog)
C - Chore you hate: dusting (been over this one before)
D - Dad's name: David (given name), Pete (to family), Dad (to me), Papa (to the kids)
E - Essential everyday item: TP
F - Flavor ice cream: coffee
G - Gold or silver?: silver
H - Hometown: McKean, PA
I - Insomnia: occasionally, which really pisses me off since I get so little sleep as it is
J - Job title: unpaid laborer
K - Kids: yep, 3 little monkeys
L - Living arrangements: our family of 5 (or 14, if you count the pet population) lives in a small home in the suburbs
M - Mom's birthplace: Clarion area of PA
N - Number of significant others: depends on what you mean, I'll just say lots
O - Overnight hospital stays: too many to count...I don't do pregnancy well
P - Phobia: going to the dentist and high brigdes and mountain roads
Q - Queer?: no
R - Religious affiliation: none really
S - Siblings: yep, a baby brother (if it's okay to call a fellow in his 40s a "baby brother")
T - Time you wake up: for the final time each morning? generally between 5:30 and 6:30
U - unnatural haircolors you've worn: been known to "cover up the gray" from time to time, but only with my normal color of brown
V - vegetable you refuse to eat: Brussel sprouts (I cringe just typing that!)
W - worst habit: yelling too much at the monkeys
X - x-rays you've had: teeth, chest, abdomen, foot
Y - yummy: at the moment a big old cheeseburger sounds good, or maybe a bowl of Cheerios
Z - zodiac sign: Pisces

Thanks again Dawn, for providing such wonderful goodies.
Guess it's time to go scrub a toilet or something. (At least until I can think of something less productive to do.)

it's gonna be one of those days...

My darling Gray had one of his really, really bad nights. I'd be surprised if I got a total of 2 hours sleep. Wish I'd worn my pedometer to bed, 'cause I'll bet I racked up a good mile or more just going back and forth to his room.
I've got way too much to do in anticipation of our guests arriving this evening to be this out of it. This really hit home as I tried to put on my bra this morning. I literally spent a good two minutes in my groggy, bleary-eyed state trying to get the damn thing hooked. Finally, I look down to find that I've got in on wrong side out.
Wish me luck...I'll need it.

Quote of the day:
"Chaos. It's not just a theory, it's my life." --unknown

a little stress reliever

Way too stressed out right now. Don't know why I do this to myself whenever we're expecting guests. Feeling totally overwhelmed. Dumb, really. Because for one thing, I know that my mom, dad, aunt, and uncle will not care if I still have piles of books and papers all over in the project/classroom because I'm in the midst of spring cleaning, nor will they care if I don't get that second kind of cookie baked, nor will they care that Annie's bedspread is a bit lopsided because she made the bed herself. And for another thing, I always seem to manage to get everything done anyway. Yet every time "company's coming", I go into this panic mode.
Decided to take a few deep breaths, sit down here at the computer, and make a list of 10 things that made me smile in the past 24 hours.

1. getting a phone call from the manager at Pizza Hut with the news that Max had won the coloring contest in the 3- to 4-year-olds category
2. hearing Gray and Max sing the theme song to "Milo and Otis" in bed last night
3. noticing, as I was strapping Max into his car seat this morning, that he'd put his pants on backwards
4. having Taco climb in my lap for some early morning pampering
5. yet another Gray masterpiece--I love his quirky style
6. finding out that my cousin's baby got to go home from the NICU
7. Annie's "I love you, Mom!" first thing this morning
8. Max's excitement over seeing a box of Scooby Doo mac & cheese at Target
9. the cool little "telephone style" number magnets in the $1 spot at Target that will make cool scrapbook embellishments
10. stealing 10 minutes last night to look through a scrapbook mag

O.K.--slightly more relaxed now. But how long until my true nature comes shining through again?!!

my nemesis...

I've mentioned it before. I LOATHE DUSTING!!!
We have dust bunnies in this home that rival in size your average bunny of the cottontail variety. They've been known to send a lazy, unsuspecting feline flying across the room when they come wandering out from beneath our bed unexpectedly.
And now you're thinking, "what a slovenly pig she is!" But this isn't true, I assure you. No, I do not keep my home in the pristine state I aspired to before the arrival of child #2. And things have assuredly slipped even further since the arrival of child #3. But overall, I do try to keep a fairly clean, tidy home. But let me tell you, this house DOES NOT make it easy!
I have never, ever lived in a place as inherently dusty as this one!!! It is IMPOSSIBLE to keep up with this unrelenting invasion of minute particles which band together to make my life miserable. I can dust the TV in the a.m., and it can be bad enough by early evening for my children to leave me nasty messages scrawled on the screen (or maybe it's my husband).
There is a reason for this horrid phenomenon. Ridge vents. Or so I'm told by ones far less ignorant than I in such matters. (I don't know what a ridge vent is, much less why it makes my house so damn dusty.)
Anyway, we have been in this house for 2 1/2 years now, and I have, for sanity's sake, learned to grudgingly accept this fact of life. Sure, I occasionally might be caught sticking out my tongue or flipping the finger at the layers of dust, but I think that's an understandable and forgiveable offense.
The real problem now arises when we're expecting guests. It's mighty hard to wait until the last minute to dust the entire house. But that is what it takes. And of course, if the guests spend the night, they awake the next day, open their eyes, and think to themselves, "I can't believe I didn't notice this yesterday, but Debi is one horrible slob! I can't believe she can't bother to clean her house even when she knows she's having company!"
Oh well. Such is life. May my dust and I will live to fight another day.

quirky little "little one" stats

Was perusing an issue of Parents magazine. I should be cleaning, but I'll just use the excuse that I'm working on my 101 list, so it appears that I'm still being semi-productive. Anyway, there was a little article of baby stats. Here's a few I found interesting...
*Between 1940 and 2002, 5,776,130 more boy babies than girl babies were born in the US--that's slightly more than the population of Missouri. (Our family is certainly doing their part to keep that trend strong--out of 8 of the grandchildren, only 1 is a girl.)
*To pay for your newborn's college education, you'll need to save $20.26 each day, or $43.67 a day for a private college. (Now that's more than slightly depressing!)
*There's only a 5% chance that a baby will be born on "the due date". (Frankly, I'm surprised it's that high...I don't know anyone who's ever delivered on their due date.)

Okay, enough procrastinating for now.

love notes?

Was just looking for something in my nightstand drawer when I came across this little note Annie had written me a while back. It just cracks me up!

It reads:
Hi Mom. Thank you for being nice to me. You are the greatest woman.

Somehow, that's just not how I imagined little "love notes" from my kids would read. But I'll certainly cherish it, none-the-less.

Quote of the day:
"The best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer someone else up." --Mark Twain

this, that, and the other thing

This is one of those days that is an enormous tease. This afternoon is bright and sunny, with temps in the mid-60's. Aaaah, springtime! But this evening the cold front comes through, and we're supposed to have snow showers. Such is the way of early spring, I suppose. But these glimpses of beautiful weather sure do spoil a gal.

That little goofball of mine. At the ripe old age of 5, Gray declared, "I'm middle-aged!" Geez--if he's middle-aged, what am I? But by his logic, it makes sense...he is the middle age between his brother and sister.

The other thing...well, I don't know what the other thing is. But thought I ought to post something since it's been a couple of days.

Quote of the day:
"Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush." --Doug Larson