Saturday, August 04, 2007

joy and sadness

August 4...undoubtedly an extremely emotional day for me. A day of extremes. Joy and sadness.

On this day, seventeen years ago, I became the luckiest gal on earth. Yes, seventeen years ago today, I married Rich. And it has been the most wonderful marriage I can imagine. Is he perfect? No. And of course, I am far from it. But we both believe with all our hearts that we are perfect for each other. Oh yes, I am so extremely blessed! So, of course, it goes without saying that this day brings me incredible joy. My goodness, we were really young once:



As for the sadness, it's a sadness we share. We wanted children from the time we got married, but felt we needed to be responsible and wait until we were more "settled" and financially stable. Rich was in school and we had no insurance. And that was okay. But eventually, we after a few years (despite the fact that Rich was still in school), we decided it was time to start trying. (We at least now had insurance.) But it wasn't as easy as just trying. To make a long story short, we battled infertility for a few years. The problem was endometriosis. But I finally had surgery, and then immediately got pregnant. We were blessed beyond measure to have Annie. A year later we decided it was time to try to add another child to our family. But again, it just wasn't happening. As I was now nearly 35, we didn't wait so long to head back to the doctor. He did surgery again. But this time no immediate miracle. So another year went by until we were finally blessed with another child. A child we weren't sure we would ever have, but a child we had loved nonetheless from the minute we decided to try. And wow...his due date? Our 10th wedding anniversary! What a tremendous anniversary gift, huh? But, it wasn't to be. I miscarried. Casey died before he was born. I know that different people respond to miscarriage in different ways, but it was absolutely devastating to us.

Anyway, this day, the day Casey was "due", brings so much sadness with it. We always miss him, but today, as well as the day we found out that he'd died, are always the hardest.

Back on the day he was due (our 10th anniversary), Rich and I bought a beautiful little tree and planted it for Casey. We didn't have our own home then, and we happened to be visiting his parents then anyway. His parents graciously allowed us to plant this tree in their yard. And when we bought this house, they brought Casey's tree to us. Here is Casey's tree today:



I love you, Rich! And we love you, Casey!

24 comments:

Jean said...

What a sad story, but at the same time heartwarming. There is so much love there! And the tree is a lovely symbol. If you ever have to or choose to move, I hope you can take it with you.

kreed said...

So now I actually have your anniversary date - and you two are perfect for each other! You two are inspiring to us "newlyweds" (not so newlywed anymore).

Casey's tree is beautiful - how wonderful that they brought it to you. I still regret not being more helpful during that awful time. You and Rich are amazing and all of your children are lucky to have parents as in love and caring as you are.

twiga92 said...

Happy Anniversary! Bittersweet - thanks for sharing your memories of Casey.

Kathleen aka Coffee Mom said...

Happy Anniversary. How lovely that you have a wonderful living memory of Casey!

Debi said...

Thank you all for your sweet thoughts!

And anybody reading Kara's comments, know that she is a silly, silly woman...she has never been anything but the sweetest, most supportive friend a person could be!

Carrie! :o) said...

(((Debi and Rich))) ~ my very most favorite couple in bloggy land! Happy Anniversary! Y'all are just precious and I'm so glad y'all have each other's love!

I am so sorry for all y'all had to go through. How heartbreaking.

What a beautiful tree in memory of Casey! What wonderful parents y'all are.

Love ya!

Jennifer said...

Well, Happy Anniversary! I can so relate to how you feel - I had 3 miscarriages before finally getting pregnant with Ruthi. It was extremely devastating for me! When I found out on Mother's Day that I was pregnant with her, I thought it was so cool that God allowed me to find out on such a special day. And CJ was actually born on our 2-yr anniversary, so we have are doubly blessed on that day. But since he was only 2 lbs. at birth, it was also very emotional, as we didn't know what a long road was ahead!

What a bittersweet day for you - I'm so sorry for the sad memory, but glad you have a happy one too! And the tree is great - what a wonderful idea!

amy said...

Praying for you today

~**Dawn**~ said...

(((hugs)))

Thank you for sharing your story with us, and allowing us to share while you remember your Casey.

Melissa R. Garrett said...

Happy Anniversary to you! And thank you for sharing Casey's story . . . HUGS :-)

annie said...

Happy Anniversary.
I had a miscarriage (well two, but the first one was very early in the pregnancy) right before I got pregnant with Izzy. It is something you just never forget. I am sorry for your loss. The tree is a wonderful way to memorialize Casey.
♥,
annie

TrainingHearts said...

Oh, my heart goes out to you and the tree is beautiful. I just gave birth to our 2nd stillbirth baby at the end of May. I am soooo sorry for your pain and carry a burden for all mommies who share this pain. Thank you for sharing!

~Tamara
www.TrainingHearts.com

TrainingHearts said...

You've been given an award on my blog! Thank you for your "courage".
Hugs, Tamara
www.TrainingHearts.com

Melody said...

Happy Anniversary, Debi!

I'm sorry to hear about your loss... and I think that's a beautiful tree in memory of Casey.

gail@more than a song said...

Aww, happy anniversary Debi, great pic of you guys. I'm sorry about your loss on your day, that is really hard. The tree is a great way to remember Casey.

Dawn said...

Happy Anniversary!! I think it is just the nicest idea to have that tree as a reminder of Casey! I've never had a miscarriage but when Brittainy did a couple of years ago my heart ached deeply for her. I can't imagine having to go through that pain.

From what I have learned about you through your blog, you are wonderful parents.

take care,
Dawn

Stacy at Exceedingly Mundane said...

Oh, what an amazingly wonderful and sad time for you Debi. Congratulations on your anniversary, but I'm so very sorry for your loss of Casey. I love the tree you guys planted, what a wonderful thing. Thank you for sharing all of this with us :)

Framed said...

What a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing your feelings on such a memorable day for your family.

kreed said...

I can't wait until you get your computer back! I miss talking to you in bloggy land!

Carrie! :o) said...

You've got an award! :o)

Still missin' ya!!

Susan said...

That is a sad story. What a neat idea, to plant a tree though. I love that. I am visiting today from Carrie's blog.

Our 20th anniversary is this week.

Blessings to you.

Susan

gail@more than a song said...

Hey Debi, hope all is ok....been out of town for almost a week and just trying to catch up! Hope to see up back soon.

Carrie! :o) said...

Stillllllllll miss you!! Come on computer man!!! Fix Debi's puter, noooooooooow!!!!! LOL!!

Dewey said...

I'm so sorry about Casey, Debi. I love his tree!