Monday, June 09, 2008

why does the time have to fly so quickly?

First let me warn you, I realize I am probably going to sound horribly melodramatic here. I apologize, but I can't help it...Saturday I really felt like I got a big old kick to the gut.

The day actually started out wonderfully. We attended the awards ceremony for the John Hopkins University CTY program. It was quite nice, the speakers gave some fantastic speeches, and, well, of course, we beamed with pride as Annie got her certificate for being among the top scorers in New York state.



We took the gang out to lunch. Again had a great time.

Then we came home and found the mail had been delivered. Two items conspired to give me that "kicked in the gut" feeling I mentioned. And it's not that either of them came as a surprise, we knew they were coming at some point. But there was just something about seeing these things in print. I've probably mentioned complained about all the paperwork required for homeschooling in NY before. Each year, you have to send in a "letter of intent"...no biggie, just a letter that tells them you're homeschooling your kiddo for the year. After they receive it, they send out a packet of information about what you need to include in your IHIP (Individualized Home Instruction Plan) for the year. Anyway, this letter was in the mail on Saturday...and it now showed Annie as officially skipping a grade, from 5th this year to 7th for next year. As I said, not a surprise by any means as it was our choice. But then there was this second piece of mail right in the same pile. Annie's college schedule, along with info on her college e-mail account and whatnot. Yes, I know, it's not like she's moving away from home. Heck, she's not even taking a full course load of classes or anything. She's only taking one course at a community college.

So what's the big deal? I don't know. I've sort of had these moments before. When Max stopped nursing at 21 months, and I realized there were no more babies in my future. When Max headed off to kindergarten, and I had to face the fact that they were all old enough to be in school. But Saturday it really hit me full force for the first time that it isn't going to be long at all until Annie is going to be grown up and leave home. Obviously, a parent knows all along that it will happen. But somehow those two stupid little pieces of paper just made it seem SO REAL.

18 comments:

Jean said...

Oh, Debi, I feel for you (as well you know by now). Hang in there, and keep taking your cues from Annie. She will know when she is ready for certain steps and she will probably let you know just as she did with the issue of skipping grade 6. Yes, she will be ready to fly out of your nest one day, but who knows. She might hop back in for a while, as Don has while working on his master's at age 19-20. Hugs to both you and Annie!

~**Dawn**~ said...

Awww... (((HUGS))) Debi.

Joy said...

I know exactly how you feel. Someone once told me this simple, yet effective rhetorical question, so I will share it with you . . . "Isn't that what you are raising them (all our children) to be?" It doesn't make it easier to see them leave (growing up), but doesn't that make you stand tall and proud that - yes, I do want my children to be successful (in the many ways that success can be defined). This is where (whatever the situation) they need to be and I'm happy they are there, competent and strong individuals. Hope it helps you - at least a little. I found much comfort in it.

Carl V. said...

First off, congrats to Annie, that is great!

Second, I can surely relate. My daughter has been home schooled (with a group of children at my cousin's home) for the last few years and this coming year, at 16, she is going to start taking some dual credit (high school and college) classes at the local community college and has a job working in their library. It seems like she went from little kid to almost grown up in the blink of an eye. Right now we are struggling with how to keep her at an age appropriate level for the next couple of years as she sort of attends college. It will be interesting to say the least!!!

Chris said...

hugs hugs hugs! What a huge mix of emotions huh? As a complete outsider it seems that you and Annie have one of the most amazing relationships. Whenever she does decide that it's time for her to be on her own, that relationship will never change...and you still have awhile before she moves out Debi!!! It's not like she's moving now :p Sorry about all of the flood of emotion though.

Nymeth said...

Aww Debi, you don't sound melodramatic at all. I can imagine how you feel. But like Chris said, you and Annie seem to have such a great relationship that regardless of where life takes her you'll always have that closeness. And I really admire the way you acknowledge the bitter-sweetness of it all while remaining supportive of everything she does and never trying to hold her back.

And congratulations to Annie! She is truly amazing.

Stacy at Exceedingly Mundane said...

Congratulations to Annie, that is awesome! Great photo, too :)

I wish I could understand how you feel, but you know me, no kiddos to love and adore. :) Definitely take pride in what a wonderful job you are doing with your children and what great adults they are going to make. Someday, not today. Hang in there. Sooner than you know, you'll be old enough to be a white-haired grandma, sitting in a rocking chair and knitting, LOL!

Have a wonderful week!

Lis Garrett said...

Uh . . . I think anyone receiving in the mail college papers for her tween daughter would experience that same feeling. Heck, I'm dreading the day Hannah gets her first bra and has her first period - I'm nowhere near ready to be thinking about middle school, high school, and college!!

I cannot believe all that Annie has accomplished in her short life, and I feel so honored that you share her with us. She is a wonderful, wonderful person!

Melody said...

Huge Congrats to Annie for her excellent performance! Way to go, Annie!! :)

Debi, I totally understand your feeling... {{Hugs}} I can tell you and Annie have a wonderful relationship and I know no matter what, that'll never change!

Kim L said...

I'm sure that it will be hard at first, especially since she is the oldest. I know it was that way for my mom when I got older. But the way you are enabling her to follow her dreams will help her so much down the road.

cj said...

Oh man.

Knowing something in your head is far different than holding that information in your hands. If it's only in the head, you can sorta kinda ignore it.

In the hands makes it very real.

What an amazing job you've done with such an amazing young woman. You both have cause to be proud!

cjh

J. Kaye Oldner said...

Yes...I am there with you. You work so hard to raise them and when it happens, you aren't ready.

Sniff.

DesLily said...

debi.. dear, dear debi.. you have only just begun finding out how time flies!... The bad news is.. it goes a whole lot faster than you think at the moment!.. the good news is, that you won't notice that for a while yet!!

Dawn said...

Oh, I know for certain how quickly time flies. One minute you have a little baby and then you turn around and you have grandchildren (I'm talking about me not you and Annie!!!!)

It does sound like you have such a wonderful relationship with Annie and that's not something that you'll outgrow!

take care,
Dawn

Trish said...

Even though they are growing up so quickly--you must be so proud! What amazing accomplishments!

gail@more than a song said...

Congrats to Annie, I know y'all are proud! Love the photo.
It's so hard for them to grow up and sometimes the little things hit...we know that's what will happen and what we're preparing them for but it still never makes it any easier. We know it with our heads and probably hearts too but it still hits most of us!
I'm playing catch up again...lots going on with you!

bethany said...

yes, it is so hard to watch them grow up sometimes...it is hard, but so filled with joy too!!!

Org Junkie said...

Oh wow, good for Annie!! K would love to be homeschooled and keeps bringing it up. I haven't decided yet what to do...