Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Weekly Geeks...A Tribute to Dewey

I have to admit that the last couple days have been a fog. While I've been going around reading what everyone had to say about Dewey, for the most part I haven't been able to make myself comment. This loss is so profound, and dealing with it in private has been my choice. I think we all have to cope in our own ways, don't we?

But in truth, I haven't really been grieving in private. I've spent much of the past few days talking with Nymeth. She's one of the very best friends I have in all the world. And if that alone wasn't enough to make me turn to her right now, there's the fact that she loves Dewey like I love Dewey.

Forgive me if I ramble. I didn't know how to hop back into this world of blogging. I wanted things to be normal first. But things won't be normal. Well, at least not old normal. I suppose there will be a new normal. Yeah, see what I mean about rambling. Anyway, I thought Becky's idea about a Weekly Geeks tribute to Dewey was the perfect opportunity to rejoin the blogging world.

I first met Dewey barely more than a year ago, when she announced the first read-a-thon. I was immediately drawn to her. Her humor and her intelligence both drew me in and intimidated me. For a while I faithfully read her blog, participated in the first read-a-thon, signed up for her challenges. And while even then I admired her, I didn't really get to know her beyond her blog.

The hole that is left in the book blogging community is truly monumental! Frankly, it's hard to even imagine the vastness of her absence. But to be perfectly honest, I haven't been able to quite process that aspect of it yet. Right now my grief is so focused on Dewey the person, Dewey the friend, that I can't quite make it to Dewey the community builder yet.

See, somewhere along the line, we crossed the line from "blogging buddy" to "real friend". Maybe those aren't quite the right words. I actually do count all of my blogging buddies as friends. But I'm sure most everyone can understand what I mean when I say there's a small handful of people who end up meaning the world to you. Dewey was one of those people. I don't even remember how exactly the transition began. I guess through those practical-type e-mails, you know challenges and prizes and discussions about books. And somewhere along those e-mails became more personal. Sometimes just pure fun. Like the time we talked about chocolate. Turns out we're both "chocolate snobs" (her term). Sometimes they were much more personal. Sometimes they were just plain old "this is what's going on in my world today" type e-mails. Like the one she sent last Monday...where she just talked about managing to get her turkey at "just the right time" (after they dropped the price, but before they ran out) and about how she loved hosting Thanksgiving because she loved having the leftovers.

Nymeth and I were talking about (and I sincerely hope she doesn't mind me sharing this) how Dewey is still there in our homes. Seriously, how many of us have books in our home that are there because of Dewey?!! I'm sure if I gathered up all the books I'd bought because of her recommendations and reviews, I'd fill a nice-sized shelf. Books for pleasure, books for homeschooling, books I'm giving as gifts this Christmas. Not to mention e-mails that I'd never gotten around to deleting (for which I'm now quite grateful). I even found her on my Christmas shopping list yesterday when I went out to try to finish up my shopping (it said "Dewey--some REALLY GOOD organic dark chocolate...").

Oh my. I apologize. I know I'm far from eloquent in the best of times. And well, this has been rambling and possibly even incoherent. But it is heartfelt. And I hope Becky doesn't mind that I published this before Saturday, I just felt like I had to get it out.

Finally, I know there's a true anguish on all of our parts for Dewey's family. It's hard to comprehend their loss, which is obviously so much greater than any of ours. But I hope should her husband and son ever choose to read these tributes that it will give them a good feeling witnessing through our words how much joy Dewey brought to our lives.

18 comments:

Jean said...

Just a thought, but perhaps someone could compile all the blogged tributes to Dewey and put print them, making a memorial book of sorts for Dewey's husband and, perhaps most important, her son. Though she was an amazing blogger, Dewey certainly knew the power of words printed on paper, to be held as one read, that goes beyond what can be read on a monitor screen.

Joy said...

This was so not rambling, my dear. It is a beautiful, heartfelt tribute to Dewey.

Nymeth said...

Not rambling at all. (And I don't mind you sharing at all, of course.)

I love you, Debi.

*hugs*

Natasha @ Maw Books said...

Beautiful Debi. A wonderful Tribute. Dewey was amazing. I remember the emails we sent back and forth on what defined a word as "foul." As silly as it is, I'll never forget it.

Dawn said...

Debi, that was beautifully written and not rambling at all. Those words were coming from your heart, that is full of love and sadness at the loss of your friend.

My thoughts continue to be with you.

take care,
Dawn

Tracy said...

Thank you for your beautiful tribute and sharing more for us to know about Dew, she was a lovely woman.

Trish said...

Debi - This was a beautiful and eloquent post--no matter what you think. I've been very stunned by Dewey's death and the outpouring of emotion and support from all of the bloggers, and like you I haven't quite been myself. I just can't stop thinking about it. I didn't post comments on any posts dealing tributes to Dewey until today (even though I read every word)--I just didn't know what to say. Now I find myself blabbing on. LOL--I guess you bring out the blabber in me. :P

One thing that I have come to realize through all of this is how important this community is to me and how much I love love love the people in the community. I wish I could be more active and play a bigger role, but I am every day grateful for the friendships I have made. And I'll never forget that you and I became acquainted during the first of Dewey's weekly geeks.

I have been trying to leave little comments this evening for bloggers that have become a small little part of my life, and now here I am at your site and I'm in tears. I am grateful for your every day nothing of importance. :) I have loved getting to know you and can't tell you how I appreciate your love and support not only for me but for all of the others. You have touched my heart, Debi, and I wanted to let you know: thank you for being you. Yikes--probably not the best forum to spill my guts, and I'm definitely not great with my emotions, but I think these things need to be said.

HUGS.

kreed said...

You are always eloquent and I think your words and thoughts about Dewey are beautiful. And I am obviously not the only one who thinks so - it looks like plenty of people in the blogging community agree with me! You certainly have lots of friends here! Please let me know if there is anything I can do from the far reaches of Kansas...I am sending lots of hugs!

Melody said...

Debi, you're not rambling at all! I'm simply touched by your every words... {{Hugs}}

Chris said...

What a beautiful, beautiful post...I know Dewey knows how much she is loved. My experience with Dewey was very similar to yours. I can't really pinpoint when we became more than just readers of each other's blogs, but it happened. And it just felt right, like she had been there all along. It still just doesn't feel right...like you said, it doesn't seem like things will go back to "normal" like they were before, but I'm sure there will be a new normal...I just hate change...And I miss her.

3M said...

A wonderful post, Debi.

Megan said...

That's a great tribute, Debi. Really.

*hugs*

kreed said...

Debi-
You are always so sweet to me and have the right words...thank you for the nice reply to my post! I hope you and I can both get into the Christmas spirit soon and get caught up despite life's craziness and heartbreak. And you are thinking of the right friend and her little girl. Although her little girl is now a semi-crazy, perpetually grounded adolescent. She makes great grades but I don't see things going well in the next couple of years. Hoepfully I am wrong.

Anyway, hugs back to you and thanks for your support.

alisonwonderland said...

beautifully written, debi! from the heart.

MyUtopia said...

I am also devastated by the loss.

Maree said...

Not rambling at all _ a lovely, heartfelt tribute to a friend.

Bogsider said...

A great post. Like I have said in so many blogs already, I wasn't so fortunate that I got to know Dewey for a long time, because I didn't join Weekly Geeks until late October this year. But right after I had found her blog, it became a place to visit every day. I am truly going to miss Dewey and her posts but realize how hard it must be for those of you who really knew her. Beautiful post.

Lou

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